Fasting!

Our leaders have called for a day of fasting tomorrow, so I decided to study about fasting today to get my heart prepared. I was very encouraged and convicted at the same time. When I read the examples of fasting throughout the book of Acts it is very clear that fasting was an important and frequent part of the disciples lives. This really convicted me because I have fasted on my own only a few times in 15 years as a Christian. The rest of the times it has been like tomorrow, fasting when I am called to fast. I have had many reasons that I should have fasted but didn't. In Isaiah 58 it seems like the people only fasted when they wanted something, but the rest of the time they ignored God. Then they got angry when God did not answer them.

"If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the Lord's day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the Lord, and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob." -Isaiah 58:13-14

I have written many times about lacking this "joy" and I can see why in this passage. I do not find living for God a delight or an honor. I do speak idle words and I do as I please. I know that, in general, I try to be a "good" disciple, but I do the very minimum, if that, and I do it for the wrong reasons most of the time. I can be like the person who does everything in vain because my heart is far from God. I am so grateful to God and His Word that leads me and reveals my heart and gives me direction so I can stop "going my own way" and go His way! Tomorrow will be a new day and the beginning of a life of true fasting to help bring me closer to God!

I need to be reminded!

1 Corinthians 15:1-8 reads, "Now, brothers, I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, which you received and on which you stand. By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain. For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Peter, and then to the Twelve. After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers at the same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep. Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles, and last of all he appeared to me also, as to one abnormally born."

This passage is very encouraging to me because this church was new, young, and had many miraculous gifts of the holy spirit, yet they needed to be reminded of what was most important. They needed to be reminded of the gospel they initially fell in the love with! The wonderful news of Christ their savior. I am just like this! I, too, need to be reminded of what is most important. Jesus suffered for my sins, not just the ones I committed before giving my life to him, but even for the ones I committed everyday since then and will commit tomorrow! He took my punishment! He suffered the horrible consiquences that were mine to suffer! Thank you Jesus and remind me each and every day of the treasure you are! I know I need to hold firmly to this so my belief will not end up being in vain. I don't really understand or know what it means to hold firmly, but I am on this journey right now to find out! What is it I need to do to be holding firm? What is it I need to repent of? What is holding me back instead of firm?

Is God enough for me?

In my first post I wrote that if I believed my sins are forgiven, then I would be so much more grateful, instead of feeling like I don't have enough. Yesterday, I was feeling very sad because I was wondering if my children are going to love God and live their lives with Him as their Lord. I was thinking that all these years I have loved God and lived for him and that my kids should see that love and love Him also. I know they have to forge their own way, find their own faith, but what if they don't? Is God enough for me? In John 15:11, Jesus says, "I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." I do not feel like His joy is in me and that my joy is complete. 1 Thess. 5:16 says, "Be joyful always." I don't care much about material things and yet I have so much. Maybe that is why I say I don't care much about them. Take it all away and how will I feel? Right now my kids live their lives solely for their own gratification. I know they are young and need to mature. But, what if they don't ever change? Will I feel God has let me down? That He doesn't really love me? Will I just keep going through the motions, like I am now, not truly believing, hoping I make it into Heaven? I don't want to live this way. I want God, and God alone, to be enough. I want my joy to be dependant on Him. That is true joy. I see I have no joy at all. I am "happy" one day, and not the next. I am so very ungrateful! It must have broken Jesus' heart when his mother came to take charge of him because she thought he was going crazy. I am sure Jesus could have felt like me, that it wasn't supposed to happen that way. That his family was supposed to love and trust him more than anyone else. But, he didn't. He just looked around at all he did have, and was joyful for that. He ended his young life giving everything up for God.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." ~Hebrews 12:1 -2

Babbling!

The Bible has few references to speaking in tongues, yet 1 Corinthians 14:1-25 is a long passage with detailed instructions. It is amazing to me, that with these specific words from Paul, whom he himself could speak in tongues, so many members of many churches claim the ability to speak in tongues and they babble on for minutes on end. They did this often in the many churches I attended growing up. My own dear grandmother claimed the ability to speak in tongues and did so often, even in her home during prayer. I believe she was sincere, but that it was just an emotional gibberish, not true speaking in tongues. It appears in this passage, that Paul is addressing a problem in the Corinthian church where many members were speaking in tongues often and at length, but not doing much else. He points out how unhelpful this is! This makes so much sense! Even at church now, when someone prays or speaks in Spanish or Creole, I don't understand a thing. It does give me comfort to know that there are many other members who do understand what they are saying because it is their language, but this was not the case in Corinth. No one understood what the speaker of tongues was saying at all. Paul says, "I would rather speak five intelligible words to instruct others than ten thousand words in a tongue." WOW! In my church growing up it was considered highly spiritual to speak in tongues, but obviously to Paul it was not worth much of you didn't interpret what you were speaking. He even says the church was being "childish"(vs. 20). At the end of the passage, Paul tells us what tongues really are supposed to be for, a sign for "unbelievers", not believers! He even says that if an unbeliever comes in to church and hears everyone speaking is a strange tongue he will think the church is out of their minds! When I think about that, I think back to the beginning of this passage. If done correctly, the few who could interpret what they were speaking would speak and interpret and this unbeliever may hear something amazing to him or he may hear someone address the very reason he came to church that day and be convinced that God was really among them.

Do I really "love"?

For the past few days I have been reading, rereading, and thinking about 1 Corintians 13:1-13. WOW! The most inspiring, yet convicting, section of scriptures in the Bible! When I read about what love is I am so convicted because I can't even live this out with my immediate family members, and I "love" them more than I "love" anyone else. I do love the fact that love is what is most important. Paul makes it plain and clear that nothing else matters in this life, NOTHING! And, in the end, the only thing any of us has is love. I also remember that God is love and it gives me great comfort to know that this is the way God loves me. The proof of this love is in all the many earthly blessings He's given me, but most importantly, in His giving me Christ. I now have the chance to spend forever with him, and to not be punished for all the many sins I have committed and continue to commit.

~LOVE NEVER FAILS!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I am not a Bible scholar or anything even close. I simply read my Bible and do my best to get to the heart of what God, or the writer, is trying to communicate. Today, I read 1st Corinthians 12:12-31. It is a passage I have read many times. In general, it teaches us that the church is made up of many different kinds of people and that we are all improtant and need each other. One new thing popped out at me today, though. Verse 28 says, "And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues." In the church at that time the Apostles had laid there hands on many disciples and given them special gifts. Of course, in our churches now, though many miracles occur, there are no longer people with these special gifts. Now, in my mind, these special gifts were so much more important than any "gifts" we may have now. Some people still have the "gift" of teaching or preaching, or maybe serving, etc. To me, these types of gifts don't compare to being able to heal the sick or speak in other languages having never studied those languages. Yet, the amazing thing to me is that Paul writes that having the "gift" of administration or being able to help others is just as important! Administration? I never would have thought! I have my own worldly views, but in God's view, the things this world finds important really aren't important. How true it is that being able to help others is a wonderful gift and is needed in our churches and in our world. And even something as mundane as administrative work, is a gift from God that is special and amazing. In my eyes, someone may have the ability to organize and delegate and administrate, but they may not have appeared "spiritual" to me. Yet, it is a gift from God worthy of being mentioned in the Bible!