Do I really believe?

Last night I was laying in bed and praying when I just started thinking about my relationship with God. I wondered if I truly believed what I feel I know about God. If I really do believe it, I mean truly, I feel I would not be living my life the way I am. If I truly believe God will answer my prayers, wouldn't I be praying so much more earnestly and about so much more? If I truly believe the Bible is the actual Word of God, wouldn't I be reading it much more deeply? If I truly believe my sins are forgiven, wouldn't I be much more grateful, instead of feeling like I don't have enough? If I truly believe there is a heaven and hell, wouldn't I be so much more urgent to repent of my sins and help others do the same? I could go on for hours!! Then God let me remember Mark 9:29. This father said he believed Jesus could heal his son, but then he immediately asks Jesus to help his unbelief. Maybe intellectually he felt he believed; or, maybe he had heard some amazing stories about Jesus that he believed were true, but deep down he didn't believe. I think I am the same way. I believe all the stories about God are true. I believe all the miracles really happened. But, I still doubt He will work in my life. So, I decided to blog, mostly for myself, but also because I know I am no different than anyone else, and maybe I can help other people or others can help me as God "helps me overcome my believe!" This will be a blog about my relationship with God. It will be real. I will be honest and open. I will write about the victories, as well as the defeats. I will write the answers I receive, as well as the questions I have.

God will work ~I hope!